SOS

I try to be optimistic, not cynical. But this semester has made me pretty cynical. When I gave this some deeper thought I realized I am unhappy with this. I could not be more privilieged to have an education, a great family, good friends, and a boyfriend I love. But this as a career? I don't know anymore. It's hard when your so sure starting out. You have a purpose, you love it, and you don't mind the work because it's work you enjoy. But given deeper thought you realize your miserable.

Now, I feel so burdened. I agree with Steve. I am tired to hearing one thing and then in another class hearing the oppoisite. I have to keep the professor's wants separate and I have to make them happy. Then they tell us not to assign busy work, and yet that's all we get. I can think of one class where I feel like the work is practical. That means 1/7 of my work week is worth my time and money. The rest is overboard. And the teachers meetings - and Steve and Robin know what I'm talking about. Am I going to be happy here? And if the answer is No, then what? I feel stuck. The time and money invested, I feel like I have to keep going with this. Maybe the happiness will return and the cynicism will subside but I'm not so sure anymore.